Working Cattle with your Significant Other

At a local team roping a few weeks back, I met a very sweet, very chatty couple. Originally from Oklahoma, they jumped the border and now call Texas their permanent home. As I was talking to the missus, she tells me, "Oh, we just love spending time together. Our first date was doctoring cows together you know?" Well, I figured, if you haven't killed each other after a day of working cows, y'all are destined to be together. 

Dirt and work may not sound like a romantic afternoon, but the more I pondered it, the more it agreed with me. Of course! How genius! You can learn more about a person in one day of working cows than in a year of fine dining and aged wine. When it comes to building a stable relationship, the three aspects every love expert seem to agree on- character, communication, and teamwork- quickly reveal itself in the hot, dusty air in the middle of cattle country. 

Character 

Working cattle with your sweetheart will give you an inside look to their temperament. When wining and dining, both men and women put their best boot forward. But in the corrals, real attitudes shine through. How do they deal with conflict? Do they remain positive or do they buckle under they stress? Do they display supportive tendencies or do they hold to a selfish nature? 

There are four characters that show up at every branding whether it's paid help or a neighbor gathering.

Mr. All fun will roll up to the gate with a hangover from Friday night. He will be drunk by 10 a.m. He will be obnoxious. And he will be in the way. On the contrary, Mr. All Business is the first one to pull up to the corrals. He's saddled, he's starched, he's efficient. He will rope them and take them to the fire, but he has little patience for anyone who's not taking it seriously. 

Boss Man is on the ground barking orders. This may be the cattleman in charge or just an outspoken crew member. Just because they assume the leadership role does not mean they can communicate the plan to the rest of the cowboys. This leads to Boss Man losing his voice before supper time.

While All Fun, All Business, and Boss Man are extreme characters, the worker bee is usually a subtle blend of the three. They will reveal their true character based on how hairy a gather may get or how tough the calves and cows are to sort. The clear headed problem solver who is supportive and respectful to their crew will carry that attitude home. The scatterbrained cowboy who splits up the heard and is always swinging their rope usually won't shuck those habits at the door either.

 

Communication 

Communication is the foundation of any relationship. The same Is true for working cattle. Knowing what the plan is and how to communicate so all crew members understand is vital for execution. If there is poor communication in the branding pen, the fire might be wiped out, a calf might be branded in the wrong spot, or an ear notch may be missed. If sorting, without good communication, cull cows may go to summer pastures and replacement heifers to the sale.  

How a person communicates in the corrals relates to how they communicate at home. Some are straight forward and brash, others may need their reality with a little milk and sugar. Identifying the method of communication will help decide if you have found a good fit. 

Team Work 

Not only do you gain insight on a person when working cows, you begin to build the foundation of a successful partnership. Team work is crucial in any cattle work- from gathering, sorting, and preg checking, to doctoring, branding, and shipping. It is also pivotal in a happy union. 

It can't be all healthy cows with big weanlings. Open cows, orphaned calves, and sorry cattle markets are part of the business. Handling life's ups and downs together with humor and love is the mark of a great team. 

There you have it! No need to take the Cosmo poll to see if your sweet heart is "the one." No need to play the game of twenty questions. If you both don't choose a cheesy rom com as your favorite moves doesn't mean you are not "meant to be." The true test of longevity comes from a calf on one end of the rope, and a couple with medicine bags on the other. 

What Makes a Cowgirl

It’s the topic of countless country songs. The good hearted women in love with good timing men. The hard working ladies in wranglers instead of pencil skirts and the strong, loving women that will not take shit from anybody. As the King George Straight famously sings, “How ‘bout them cowgirls?” But what is it that makes a cowgirl so rare and special? What defines a cowgirl? I have had the privilege of being around several amazing cowgirls in my years in the cattle industry and in the horse world. This has given me some insight on how incredible a cowgirl is. Between late nights, early mornings, and surviving through fortunes and famines, there isn’t anything a cowgirl can’t do.

A cowgirl possesses all of the same qualities of a good cowboy on the surface. She is the first one up the morning of a branding, brewing coffee for the crew and saddling the horses. She is the first one to ride out into the rough country, gathering pairs and spotting strays in the brush. Whether it is blazing hot, pouring down rain, storming, windy, or sunny, she works hard; giving it her all and not quitting until the job is done.

A cowgirl is a cattle woman. She can read cattle and anticipate their every move, putting herself in the right position. She sorts the cows from the calves in holding pens, either on a horse or with a paddle. Her presence is obvious in the branding pen as well. Being just as handy, she is found roping the big calves alongside the men. When a cowgirl is on the ground crew, she is making sure things run smoothly- giving shots, cutting teats, or notching ears. No task is too daunting and no job too dirty for a true cowgirl.

A cowgirl is an excellent horsewoman. With kind a heart and soft hands, she can look into the soul of a horse through their large brown eyes and know exactly how to bring out the best in them. She is not unnecessarily harsh. Patience is practiced by her and ingenuity often prevails. Because of this, she has multiple methods in her bag of tricks and she empowers rather than overpowers her horse companion. Have a difficult broncy horse? Hand the reins over to a cowgirl. She does not necessarily need to be a trainer to showcase her skills; she simply rides to get job done.

Below the surface, a cowgirl is the backbone to her family. She is strong and supportive for her family and friends. She frequently welcome guests with open arms and warm meals. She cook the meals; she can change a tire, and can repair virtually anything on the ranch. A cowgirl at home wears many (cowboy) hats. She isn't just a woman; she is a farmers’ almanac, the market day report, the midnight irrigator, hay bucker, the shrewd business woman, the loving wife and mother, and the list goes on indefinitely. When her loved ones are successful, she celebrates them. When the chips are down, she remains level headed; ready to carry the weight and uplift spirits when needed. Above all, she is tolerant yet firm, tough yet tender, relentless and hardworking.  It is often said that the success of a cowboy relies on the kind of cowgirl he has by his side.

At 89 yrs, Dorthy Lindsey manages the daily

functions of her ranch in San Luis Obispo, CA

Cowgirls can work just  as hard as the cowboys. she pulls her own weight and can run with the men, though she will not act like the men. She is refined and, above all, a lady. For this, she has the respect of anyone whose path crosses hers. A cowgirl is a gift from God. A rare treasure that makes her presence known in this world; which is cherished by anybody lucky to know her. That is the true essence of a cowgirl.